Just Teaching
by whereisthefreakingnalu
Summary: Modern AU. In which Natsu and Lucy make the best(worst) kind of teachers with an unwavering sense of professionalism. Series of oneshots, always complete. T for the occasional curse word.
1. Eating Healthy

"Luuuuce!" Natsu exclaimed, throwing open the door to Room 232 with a bright grin. "I forgot my lunch again; let's go to Chipotle; I'm starving!"

Instead of the bright, "Sure, anything you want!" he was expecting/hoping for, Natsu was instead greeted with an angry growl and bright pairs of attentive eyes from students filling the desks of the classroom that _should've been empty _(well, except for Lucy).

"_Mr. Dragneel_, GET OUT!"

Natsu blinked slowly. "Oh… are you running a workshop or something?" He laughed sheepishly, ruffling the back of his spiky pink hair. "You coulda said something, Luce."

"It was unplanned!" snarled Lucy. "And you're supposed to call me Ms. Heartfilia in front of the students, Natsu!"

"But you just called me Natsu, so… are we still going to Chipotle? I'm hungry."

Lucy took a deep breath. "I brought lunch today," she sighed, giving up. "You can have it; I probably won't be eating lunch today, anyways."

"Yosh!" Natsu beamed, already rummaging through her back. "You make the best food! Thanks, Luce!" He pulled her lunch out of the bag, gave her a quick (awkward) one-handed hug, and dashed out the door.

"It's _Miss Heartfilia_!" Lucy yelled after him. The classroom lapsed into an uncomfortable silence as the students went through various degrees of confusion. Whispers and giggles floated through the still air. Lucy sweatdropped.

The door was flung open again as Natsu stuck his head back in to say, "You skipped lunch yesterday and dinner the day before that. You should start eating healthier, Luce, or else you might get wrinkles. Okay, well, bye!"

Lucy's mouth dropped as he disappeared. It took her a moment to compose herself before she yelled at where he had previously been, "You're a science teacher, Natsu! _You know people don't get wrinkles from skipping meals!"_

Laughter rippled through the classroom. As Lucy finally turned back around to face her pupils, a student in the front row called out, "I didn't know you were dating Mr. Dragneel, Ms. Heartfilia! Did you meet by teaching?"

More laughter erupted. Lucy resisted the urge to faceplant on her desk; instead she glared at her students, threatening, "If anyone else says _anything_ about this, we're writing two more essays on Shakespearean sonnets."


	2. Problems with Eating Out

"Oh, _crap_. Natsu, we should probably get out of here."

Natsu blinked, craning his head to see Lucy trying fruitlessly to hide behind him, her hands twisted in his scarf and her expression one of anxiety. "Why?"

"Those kids in the booth over there… they're _students_."

"Uh… so?"

"That's _awkward._"

Natsu laughed uproariously, attracting the attention of nearly everyone in the small burger joint. "You're so weird, Luce," he said finally. "There's nothing wrong with seeing students."

"Mr. Natsu!" said a boy with black hair and an orange scarf, waving happily. "I didn't see you there."

The girl in the booth with him, sporting dark blue hair in long pigtails, waved too. "Natsu-nii, I didn't know you were coming here today. Oh, and good afternoon, Ms. Heartfilia."

Lucy laughed uneasily, "G-good morning to you, too, Wendy, Romeo. I mean, afternoon. Damn it! I mean _darn it_." Natsu began giggling like a kindergartner until Lucy stomped on his foot. "You didn't hear anything," she blurted, smiling forcedly back at the students.

"Ow, Luce, you didn't have to do that when you're wearing heels," pouted Natsu, before recovering his smile as he looked at the kids. "So what're you guys doing here?"

Lucy grinned, a little evilly, her eyes sparkling with anticipation. "Are you guys on a date? I knew it would happen eventually!"

Wendy squeaked, a blush coating her features as she began to babble. "… not really... not that he's… and it won't… it's Shelia's… and we just…"

Romeo opened and closed his mouth like a fish. Finally, he blurted, "It looks like you and Mr. Natsu are on a date!"

Natsu blinked in confusion. Lucy's face went red as she waved her arms around frantically. "Nooo, it's not like that at all, Romeo!"

"I wouldn't let Wendy go on a date with anyone!" announced Natsu, already behind on conversation topics. "My cousin is too young for that sort of thing, Luce! I'll protect her!"

Lucy sighed – he was pretty much a lost case. "You're so slow, Natsu."

"Nuh-uh, I'm super fast! I can beat that loser Gray in any race!" boasted Natsu, proudly.

Lucy sighed again. "Oblivious, too," she mumbled. Fortunately for her, the line had moved forward, and the impatient, gum-chewing checkout lady (who seemed to be suffering from eating too much food at her place of employment) was right before her.

"A regular burger and two doubles with two sides of fries; if you can, drown the doubles with hot sauce and overcook the meat," she said, as always (Natsu ate _a lot_. Both the doubles were for him.)

The lady raised an eyebrow. "Is your order to-go?"

"Yeah."

Natsu chose that minute to pay attention for once. "But Luce," he protested, "I wanna eat with my cousin!"

"Maybe next time, Natsu," said Lucy cheerfully, "I have papers to grade."

"But you said you didn't have any today!"

"Well, bye, Romeo and Wendy! Good luck on your date!"

"Nooo Luce, I wanna eat with Wendy, don't drag me awayyyy!"

"Good luck to you, too, Ms. Heartfilia!"

"Romeo! We're not – now they think we're dating!"

"Calm down, Wendy, it's fine."

"Luce, noooooooo-!"


	3. Don't Gossip, Kids!

Lucy loved teaching.

She loved her subject, her coworkers, and her students. They made her day, really.

There was this one student in her fourth period that she'd probably remember forever – Vijeeter Ector – who was always dancing in the back of her English class. He always obeyed when she asked him to please sit back down, but somehow he ended up dancing again within the next few minutes.

She's given up trying to get him to stop at this point.

All of his essays were about dancing in some form or the other, and the vast majority of them mentioned his life's goal: to study abroad in Minstrel, the holy land of dance, if he could save up enough money for it.

The first time she read that (during the second week of school, when she was acquainted with his weird habit but hadn't quite adjusted yet), she had written "You go, Vijeeter!" on the side in red pen, accompanied with a bright, heartfelt smiley-face; a few months later, she barely batted an eye when she saw it in his papers.

She'd probably tell her future children about him as a bedtime story. After all, she's already talked about him at teacher gatherings, anyways.

At any rate, she adored her students. By "students," she meant all of them, even Lamy, whose sudden fits and mood swings gave her headaches.

Of course, she had her favorites, as every teacher does. But she thought she hid her preferences pretty well, even if everyone knew she had a big soft spot for her family friend, Coco.

But this whole rant was to emphasize one point: Lucy Heartfilia loved her students.

But…

_the rumors._

It was bad enough when she saw kids gossiping about each other, and even more so when she saw students deeply hurt by what other people said.

And you'd think the students would keep it among themselves, but _no_. Apparently, none of them were above gossiping about their teachers.

At first, the whispered words she caught made her laugh to herself in amusement. Oh, so they thought something was going on between Secretary Mirajane Strauss and Vice-Principal Laxus Dreyer? How long was math teacher, Gray Fullbuster, going to spurn History teacher/swim team coach Juvia Loxar's affections?

Oftentimes, she found herself agreeing with their words.

One time, she heard a few girls in the front row mumbling about whether Mr. Alzack Connell and Mrs. Bisca Mulan Connell were having a kid when she rapped on their table sharply with a stern look.

As the girls froze up, waiting for their impending doom, Lucy full-on beamed and announced, "In order to quell these rumors… Yes, Bisca and Alzack are having a child! Isn't it cute? Everyone be sure to congratulate Mr. and Mrs. Connell when you can!"

So, the rumors weren't so bad at first… that was, until she discovered that the students were gossiping about her and Natsu. Or Sting. Or Gray. Or whomever they saw her talking to. But mostly they talked about _Natsu_. Oh, the horrors!

Sometimes when she was chatting with Natsu or when they visited each other's classrooms, she could see students smirking and whispering to themselves. When she announced to her first period, "Sorry I'm late, guys; Natsu – I mean _Mr. Dragneel_ – woke up late. Again," her class would break out into laughter and gossip.

Once, she had asked a student who had finished her test early to deliver some homemade cupcakes to Natsu, seeing as he had begged her for some the other day. But during homeroom not too long later, she heard some students talking about it:

"Y'know Beth? Beth Vanderwood? The girl with the braids and overalls?"

"Yeah, what about her?"

"Ms. Heartfilia had her deliver a package of _cupcakes._ To _Mr. Dragneel_."

"What? No way! Why?"

"I'm not really sure. But apparently when Beth gave Mr. Dragneel the cupcakes, he smiled really big, like _really_ big, and said, 'Thanks. Luce's cupcakes are the best!'"

"Wow, so what does that mean? Are they actually dating?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe."

What was up with students these days? Were cupcakes really that much of a hot topic? What about Wendy and Romeo? Weren't their issues more interesting than the lives of boring old teachers? (No, she shouldn't think that way. She wasn't _old_; not even a little!)

She complained to Natsu about the rumors once, but, for some reason, she found herself caring less about the gossip after their conversation.

"Natsu, the students think we're together. _Together_!"

"So what, Luce? I think it's cool that they're looking out for us. I mean, what they say isn't mean, really. They just want us to be happy, right?"

"That's not it, Natsu. They just want something to talk about."

"Well, I'm glad they chose us instead of, like, drugs. That's what the assembly was to prevent, wasn't it?"

"But the assembly sucked."

"Yeah, I know."

The conversation only served to strengthen Lucy's belief that Natsu was the best counselor/comforter ever.

Or maybe she was just weird.


	4. Ew School Dances are Gross

Lucy wrinkled her nose as Mirajane gushed excitedly to her. _Ugh._ Chaperoning duty again.

"Mira, do you really need this many chaperones for the dance? You know the kids hate being stifled by the teachers," pointed out Lucy, a little more for saving her Friday night than letting the kids have a better dance. After all, she had a wonderful night planned, full of chick flicks and popcorn and not a single paper that she really needed to grade.

"Lucy," reproached Mirajane, placing her hands on her hips and making some kind of a "tsk" noise. "You know how the kids are these days, with their hormones and all. We need people to be there to make sure they don't get… _frisky_."

"Ugh, Mira, no," groaned Lucy, burying her face in her hands. "I don't need to hear that about my students."

"Not _just_ your students," reminded Mirajane with a smile.

"Ughhhhhh."

"You know, it's not that bad," giggled Mirajane, clasping her hands. "It's the perfect time to watch all of my cute little couples! I certainly can't do that from the office."

"I guess I like to see that, too, sometimes," admitted Lucy reluctantly. "It's always cute to see them together when I've been waiting so long."

"Mhmm. You're so lucky, Lucy. You get to see the kids together all the time! I only see them individually for late passes and detentions and all."

Lucy laughed a little at that. "Yeah, Lucky Lucy Heartfilia," she said with a little smile. "Okay, fine, I'll go."

"Coolios."

"Ew, Mira," exclaimed Lucy in horror. "It burns my ears."

Mirajane smiled sweetly. "What? Coolios. Awesomesauce. Slap me some skin, Lucy. Come on. You know you wanna." She held out her hand.

"It's like bad Dad Jokes," Lucy cried, shrinking back and covering her bleeding ears. "Stop torturing me, Mira!"

"Okay," relented Mirajane with a sigh. "But only if you help me convince Evergreen to chaperone. You know how good she is at keeping the kids in line."

* * *

><p>"Way to see my Friday night go down the drain," grumbled Evergreen as she stopped by the coffee counter in the staff room.<p>

_What are you missing? Staring at Elfman's picture and calling him an idiot?_ wondered Lucy to herself. Because she valued her life, Lucy wisely didn't say that aloud. Evergreen was just one of those people who you don't mess with.

"Haha," she laughed horribly, "Yeah, I see your point. Should we share a test for the next poetry unit, for the AP class?"

Evergreen sniffed. "Sure," she dismissed. "Can you believe that Mirajane? She blackmailed me into chaperoning the dance, you know."

Lucy raised an eyebrow. She was 90% sure of what Mira had blackmailed Evergreen with, and it most likely involved a white-haired giant who often said "man" when it didn't make sense. And that meant Mira had a plan B for convincing Lucy to chaperone the dance… one that involved a pink-haired pyromaniac who often broke into houses via window.

Lucy sighed. _Oh, Mira. Karma's going to get you one day_.

"Well, I'm leaving," announced Evergreen, gathering up her papers and her newly mixed coffee. "I did the test last time, so you're making it this time."

"Yeah, okay, sure," mumbled Lucy to Evergreen's back. She sighed again, for the millionth time that day. Even more work to do. She dropped her things on the nearest table, slumped in the chair, rested her cheek on the tabletop and made a long, drawn out noise of suffering that sounded somewhat like, "Uuuursasgddfffff."

"You okay, Luce?" asked Natsu, sitting down next to her. "Ooh, coffee."

"That's _my _coffee. Go make your own," grumbled Lucy, propping her chin up on her arms.

Too late. Natsu was drinking her coffee. Ugh.

"So, what's up?" Natsu wiped his lips with the back of his hand and shot her a large smile.

"Y'know the dance that's coming up? Mira's forcing me to chaperone it with Evergreen, Gajeel, Fried, and Juvia."

Natsu tilted his head in confusion. "So what?"

"So… my Friday night is ruined," wailed Lucy, flapping her arms. "I'm going to be stuck there watching happy children and be forced to remember how lonely and forever single I am!"

"But… weren't you just going to spend your Friday watching disgusting romance movies?"

"I'll have you know they're _great_ movies! Classics! And that's beside the point," pouted Lucy.

"Then what's the point?"

Lucy frowned. "Obviously that I'm going to be bored and alone," she clarified. "Stuck watching small children at Mira's odd whim."

"I didn't understand that last part…" Natsu scratched his chin. "But I'll go with you," he beamed. "Then you won't be alone anymore."

Lucy's face flared red. "You can't just go to the dance with me," she spluttered. "That's… that's not… we're not…"

"Why? I'm sure Mira'd let me," grinned Natsu.

_Yeah, Mira would _love_ this_, grimaced Lucy. _But that's not a good thing_. "No, Natsu."

"But I thought you were going to be lonely?"

Lucy faltered. She didn't want to be all alone. "Well…"

Natsu beamed widely. "Cool! I'll be there."

A brief moment of silence passed. Lucy stirred at what was left of her coffee. Natsu smiled at nothing, tapping his foot annoyingly.

Then, Natsu began laughing loudly.

"What is it?" demanded Lucy.

"You got it all backwards, Luce," Natsu managed between his random fits of laughter. "Isn't the guy supposed to ask the girl to the dance?"

"What?!" screeched Lucy. "We're not… That's not… I didn't… NATSU! STOP LAUGHING!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Woooow Natsu so sexist. Well, I guess you did better than I thought you would. I didn't even know you knew the protocol for asking people to dances. Guess something rubbed off on you over the years, eh?**

**Oh, and special thanks to **MarinaHeartfilia** because this chapter probably wouldn't exist if you hadn't told me it was a good idea. So, wherever you are, thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. (All the extra u's for u.)**


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